father: jeez, your room upstairs is a mess! were you born in a barn?
pig: *snicker* yes
father: quit it! you know what i mean! your room is a pigsty
pig: *snicker* duh
father: don't talk back to me! do you realize how hungry i am? and how much i LOVE pig-related food products?
pig: ok ok, i get it. don't have a *snicker* pig
father (holding pan): get. in. this. pan. right. now.
My parents have never threatened to consume me as a punishment. I should consider myself lucky (to not be a pig).
My Tweet Action
Ok, I'm gonna be healthier starting now.
No more McDoubles!
Have a rad flu, folks.
I got a flu shot! So now if I get the flu, it's only be the raddest of flus. No common, expected flu for me!
It's gonna be sick.
Just read "Narcos" on Netflix as "Nachos".
I must be hungry.
Stay tuned for my Twitch stream!
Oh no. This is just Life.
Hot dogs are still one of my fallback late-night foods. NO REGRETS
Ok. I have a well enumerated list of regrets. Join me at my info session