man: it's so cold in this coffee shop.
man (walking): forget it. i'm gonna change the temperature on the thermostat. i'll be a hero.
man (reaching for thermostat): "heroic man turns up heat at local coffee shop" the papers will say. hero time!
*thermostat says the new temperature is 3500 farenheit. above the thermostat, is a post-it note that says don't touch*
man: WHOOPS! oh CRAP! no! NO!
*the other people in the coffee shop are on fire now*
patron 1: FIRE! my only weakness!
patron 2: AHHHHHH!
man (on fire and looking sad): i feel really bad about this...
Ahhhh, these flames are really toasting me up good. I was getting a bit cold! Thanks! Wait, no! N-n-n-n-n-n-no! Too much! TOO MUCH!
My Tweet Action
You know that scene in Face/Off where "Sean Archer" says "When all else fails, fresh tactics!" and then takes a sip… https://t.co/LDLROW8ILN
It hasn't happened yet because I do not own a lawn chair.
Soon I'll be a grumpy old man with a lawn chair set up at a busy intersection yelling at cars not following the rules.
grumble grumble please use your turn signals grumble grumble
I don't think Penny would like it if she found out that, twice a week, I give a beer to her mom Pam on her way to work.
I'm pretty sure I say "sorry" like a Canadian now.
Sooooo, is that dual citizenship?