yellow (in messy room): my new girlfriend is on her way over right now!
yellow: if she sees my horribly messy room, she will totally break up with me! think think
yellow: what wacky solution can i come up with to fix this?
yellow (thinking): throw everything out the window. i'm a germaphobe, so i don't want to touch all the dirty stuff. i have a dog and he's the messy one
yellow: i got nothing! nothing! this is so bad!
*tap on the shoulder*
girlfriend: so this is... your room?
yellow: but...i...i have a dog and he's the messy one!
girlfriend: haha! you're funny! don't worry, i'm not going to break up with you because of a dirty room
girlfriend: also, i would have accepted "someone just robbed me and only left my dirty laundry and plates"
yellow: she's a keeper
There were only a couple stink lines, so it was tolerable. Any more though and it may have been the smells that were the deal-breaker.
Also, did you see the new shirt for the preordering?
My Tweet Action
You know that scene in Face/Off where "Sean Archer" says "When all else fails, fresh tactics!" and then takes a sip… https://t.co/LDLROW8ILN
It hasn't happened yet because I do not own a lawn chair.
Soon I'll be a grumpy old man with a lawn chair set up at a busy intersection yelling at cars not following the rules.
grumble grumble please use your turn signals grumble grumble
I don't think Penny would like it if she found out that, twice a week, I give a beer to her mom Pam on her way to work.
I'm pretty sure I say "sorry" like a Canadian now.
Sooooo, is that dual citizenship?