yellow (in messy room): my new girlfriend is on her way over right now!
yellow: if she sees my horribly messy room, she will totally break up with me! think think
yellow: what wacky solution can i come up with to fix this?
yellow (thinking): throw everything out the window. i'm a germaphobe, so i don't want to touch all the dirty stuff. i have a dog and he's the messy one
yellow: i got nothing! nothing! this is so bad!
*tap on the shoulder*
girlfriend: so this is... your room?
yellow: but...i...i have a dog and he's the messy one!
girlfriend: haha! you're funny! don't worry, i'm not going to break up with you because of a dirty room
girlfriend: also, i would have accepted "someone just robbed me and only left my dirty laundry and plates"
yellow: she's a keeper
There were only a couple stink lines, so it was tolerable. Any more though and it may have been the smells that were the deal-breaker.
Also, did you see the new shirt for the preordering?
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So it's been 25 years since Dookie?
This was my first cassette. It was blue. I listened to it on a Radio Shack tap… https://t.co/uyE3C6mTWS
I 👏 CAN'T 👏 STOP 👏 BUYING 👏 PILLOWS
I shouldn't have restarted my Jack Ryan watching right before bed. This particular episode is slightly intense.
*hears the sounds of a garbage truck coming down the street in the morning*
me (leaping out of bed): AHHHH, HOLY C… https://t.co/DORegpAuhi