man: it's so cold in this coffee shop.
man (walking): forget it. i'm gonna change the temperature on the thermostat. i'll be a hero.
man (reaching for thermostat): "heroic man turns up heat at local coffee shop" the papers will say. hero time!
*thermostat says the new temperature is 3500 farenheit. above the thermostat, is a post-it note that says don't touch*
man: WHOOPS! oh CRAP! no! NO!
*the other people in the coffee shop are on fire now*
patron 1: FIRE! my only weakness!
patron 2: AHHHHHH!
man (on fire and looking sad): i feel really bad about this...
Ahhhh, these flames are really toasting me up good. I was getting a bit cold! Thanks! Wait, no! N-n-n-n-n-n-no! Too much! TOO MUCH!
My Tweet Action
In the middle of my after work run, as it all got darker, I realized that I should have bought some non black running clothes.
Upside of leaving the apartment for a few days and not taking care of dirty dishes and trash is coming back to many new fruit fly friends!
Ok, I'm gonna be healthier starting now.
No more McDoubles!
Have a rad flu, folks.
I got a flu shot! So now if I get the flu, it's only be the raddest of flus. No common, expected flu for me!
It's gonna be sick.
Just read "Narcos" on Netflix as "Nachos".
I must be hungry.