man: it's so cold in this coffee shop.
man (walking): forget it. i'm gonna change the temperature on the thermostat. i'll be a hero.
man (reaching for thermostat): "heroic man turns up heat at local coffee shop" the papers will say. hero time!
*thermostat says the new temperature is 3500 farenheit. above the thermostat, is a post-it note that says don't touch*
man: WHOOPS! oh CRAP! no! NO!
*the other people in the coffee shop are on fire now*
patron 1: FIRE! my only weakness!
patron 2: AHHHHHH!
man (on fire and looking sad): i feel really bad about this...
Ahhhh, these flames are really toasting me up good. I was getting a bit cold! Thanks! Wait, no! N-n-n-n-n-n-no! Too much! TOO MUCH!
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So it's been 25 years since Dookie?
This was my first cassette. It was blue. I listened to it on a Radio Shack tap… https://t.co/uyE3C6mTWS
I 👏 CAN'T 👏 STOP 👏 BUYING 👏 PILLOWS
I shouldn't have restarted my Jack Ryan watching right before bed. This particular episode is slightly intense.
*hears the sounds of a garbage truck coming down the street in the morning*
me (leaping out of bed): AHHHH, HOLY C… https://t.co/DORegpAuhi