man: it's so cold in this coffee shop.
man (walking): forget it. i'm gonna change the temperature on the thermostat. i'll be a hero.
man (reaching for thermostat): "heroic man turns up heat at local coffee shop" the papers will say. hero time!
*thermostat says the new temperature is 3500 farenheit. above the thermostat, is a post-it note that says don't touch*
man: WHOOPS! oh CRAP! no! NO!
*the other people in the coffee shop are on fire now*
patron 1: FIRE! my only weakness!
patron 2: AHHHHHH!
man (on fire and looking sad): i feel really bad about this...
Ahhhh, these flames are really toasting me up good. I was getting a bit cold! Thanks! Wait, no! N-n-n-n-n-n-no! Too much! TOO MUCH!
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Feels like it's been a while since I've been up this early on a weekend. I usually spend every weekend destroying my sleep schedule.